A Rant on Pubes.

Anon


Last week I was chatting (over wine, obviously) with my Mum and Gran, 53 and 91 respectively, and we did that rare thing of stumbling across the topic of pubic hair. My mum a child of the 70s had always shaved but never ‘down there’. While my Gran told us how she never shaved any of her body hair. By the time she was 24, having been displaced by war, she was the first person she knew in Bombay to wear a bikini. And yet she still didn’t shave. Can you even begin to imagine being on a beach now and not giving a shit about your underarm hair and bikini line?! 

I sat awkwardly at the table as both the only self-defining feminist but also the only one who shaved all their pubic body hair. It made me feel uncomfortable to realise that as much as I preach about a woman’s right to control her own body, with many justifications of ‘feeling more hygienic’, when questioned I simply had no answer to why I do it and always have. It stirred emotions of frustration – why do I spend so much money and time doing something I feel essentially indifferent towards? If these women before me didn’t feel the need to do it why the hell do I? With so many women apparently shaving it all off, or worse styling it, subjecting their most sensitive, pleasure-receptive parts to extreme waxes I can’t help but wonder what has changed so fundamentally in these three generations. If Lady Caroline Lamb was able to send Lord Byron a romantic lock of her pubic hair in 1812 why do so many of us feel the need to get rid of our muffs now?

Of course not all women shave and I seriously admire those who don’t. I’m so sick of paying 20 quid for 6 bloody razors! And the time it takes, to shave and prune is beyond ridiculous, surely I have better things to be doing? 

Often we claim it’s the way we feel most comfortable but is that because it’s also the way that’s most socially acceptable? Thinking back to when I first started shaving, it was first my under arms and legs. My downstairs bits weren’t an issue until the age I became sexually active, or just before, as a ‘just in case it happens’ kind of thing. I never did it BEFORE but I changed my body to what I assumed guys preferred. I didn’t debate with myself, or wonder which I would favour; I just assumed that was the right way of dealing with body hair. And when I’m not getting any I’m significantly less bothered about doing it. It’s not about what guys want but what we think they want, and what society says women should be like. Averts, celebrities, films all inform our ideals. I can’t think of any Hollywood instances of ‘excessive’ female body hair other than hysteric women types. And yet when you actually ask sexual partners their opinion they never seem to mind. 

Shaving and all its variations have been a long standing feature of societies, dating as far back as Ancient Greece, but its gendered nature and aesthetic function is relatively new, a consequence of rising hem lines and daring bikinis. If you weren’t allowed to flash your ankle what was the point? Alternatively male shaving tends to be considered as slightly homoerotic, a question on your manhood. Only this week the Sunday Times contained an article on advertising and beards, ‘How to get ahead in advertising. It’s no longer Armani suits and hair gel: these days, cool creative types are going for bushy.’ While men seemed to be defined by the hair they gain through puberty, with a direct correlation between hair and masculinity, women are constantly told to remove it and make themselves creepily pre-pubescent. Women are made to be ashamed of the gains of womanhood. There is now a commercial industry deriving profit from women feeling shit about themselves. Capitalism has undoubtly escalated women, and increasingly men’s, hate of their own bodies. I wonder if the pressures are the same in non-hetronormative relationships.

There is a disturbing trend of women increasingly believing their natural vulva isn’t good enough. With labiaplasties and vajazzling, hair removal is the tamest of worries. I’m sorry my vulva isn’t ‘perfect’. I’m sorry it doesn’t naturally sparkle for you.

So a total miss-mash of thoughts, which poses more questions than it answers. But that’s what’s important about feminism right? Constantly questioning the pressures, subjections and expectations of a patriarchal society. Will I change my shaving habits? I doubt it. But will I continue to question why I do it? Absolutely.