The Nice Guy

By Yasin Mudey

Recently, in my random bored internet scrolling, I've noticed a strange phenomenon across the webosphere. Yes, I know I made up that word, but I like to do that. The strange occurrence that mention is the idea of the 'friendzone' and the offshoot of this idea that 'nice guys' finish last.

The thing that strikes me is that there is an immediate, obvious part of me that scoffs at the idea. This mythical 'friendzone' strikes me as a fantastical idea. Why? Simply because it doesn't exist. There is a growing and worrying trend across the internet that simply being a 'nice guy' warrants some kind of sexual gratification from the person of your choice, because you deem yourself as 'nice'. Huh. I didn't know that. So a person is supposed to show some sort of attraction to me because I've shown that, as a person I'm capable of being compassionate? Or that I managed to somewhat portray myself as being nice?

My mama always told me, down in ole south (which admittedly I did not grow up in) that seemingly a random act of kindness, or observing the niceties, is simply just that. Being nice. Wow. How radical. Being nice and not wanting something back? How ludicrous that such an idea is possible. My fellow human beings, you must realise that being 'nice' solely so someone will exhibit an attraction to you surely bastardises the word nice? It's almost as if this word has taken a whole new meaning because the 'nice' guys wanna hit back at society from their respective computers. Uh oh.

A couple of visits to the blog niceguysofokc.tumblr.com have reaffirmed the worldwide misinterpretation of the word. Guys, is it being 'nice' to demand sex in certain situations? Or that the 'man' has to be the head of the house? And that it is a females 'duty' to shave for you? If you really believe that, grab the closest dictionary. Look up this supposed idea of being 'nice'. Look up the word 'friendzone'. You won't find it, because, like my love for the fantastically magic world of the hobbit, it is not real. Simply put, it doesn't exist.

Perhaps if these 'nice' guys were more forthcoming with their feelings towards people, they would have better luck. Rather than labouring under the 'label' of being a 'nice' guy. So, my fellow men (oh wait, yes I am a man) I bid you, take off you fedoras and be nice for its sake. Maybe you will have a bit more luck.